Monday 4 June 2012

Pages 703-738

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!!!!

Ahem......Sorry. That was my reaction when i read the name of this chapter, "A few pages of history" Just so you know Mr Hugo, 35 pages is not 'a few', 35 is a lot!
I cant even tell you what it was about because i have no idea myself, it was something about King Louis-Phillipe........I don't even know who that is!

Perhaps the historic parts of this book might be easier for me to comprehend if my entire knowledge of French history didn't come from the 1998 film "The Man In The Iron Mask", and that film was TOTALLY historically inaccurate, there isn't even concrete evidence that there ever was a real prisoner in an iron mask.........I still liked the film, although i seem to be the only person in the world who did.

Yes i know that has nothing to do with Les Miserables, i was just using it as an example to illustrate i know nothing about France. (Shut up i can take a detour if i want to! It's not like Victor Hugo hasn't done it loads of times so far!)
It also might help if these historic sections weren't so fucking boring! This was the worst part of the book yet, even worse than pages 276-324, and i hated those pages so much!

I'm going to need to see another unicorn to calm myself down :(


Actually you know what, I don't think a unicorn is going to do the job this time.................I need to see something more drastic, something completely bizarre.......................I've got it!

To regain my composure i need to see a picture of Pinky and The Brain performing open heart surgery on Spongebob Squarepants!!!!

(You really can find anything on the Internet)

I feel better now, i think i can continue with the book.
Why do you keep doing this to me Victor Hugo! Cant you just stick to the story? Please stop with the history lessons and just tell me about Valjean and Cosette and Marius and Eponine and Javert and the rest of the characters.

Fuck you Victor Hugo, Seriously........fuck you in the ear! that's right, THE EAR!!!!

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