Pages 1076-1103

Oh i have so many problems with these pages.......where do i begin.


I suppose my main problem is the fact that the scene is still taking place in the sewers, this is so fucking gross! Jean Valjean has taken the bleeding and dying Marius into the sewers to escape from the police who will shoot them both dead for being revolutionaries. This is probably the worst place in the world to take a wounded man, can you imagine the amount of diseases you could catch down there? And i still don't even know why he's doing this, not two days ago he was about ready to murder this boy for wanting to shag his daughter but now he's trying to save his life? Why? It's called "Motivation" Victor Hugo, it's an important storytelling tool! use it!


These pages are just Valjean crawling through shit, that's it! him crawling through shit carrying Marius on his back for reasons that are never explained, we do get to see him display almost super human strength again when he has to crawl through a pit of quicksand (I don't know why there's quicksand in the sewer i guess they just had that back then), which is another problem i have with these pages, Valjeans got to be in his 60's at this point and yet he can still carry a full grown man on his back and manage to crawl out of a pit of quicksand. Who is this guy??? Is he a super hero? how is he still that strong at the age he is? How, HOW?????

At one point during all the shit crawling Valjean rests for a while and tries to bandage Marius's wounds, (which is fucking pointless, you're exposing open wounds to human shit!) he also searches him and finds a letter that states that if he's dead then his body should be returned to his grandfather, and then he finds a piece of bread in his pockets...........which Valjean eats. EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
As if this part of the book wasn't already gross enough Valjean actually eats a piece of bread he found in a pocket of a boy he's been dragging through shit! THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING!

Ugggghhhhhhhh, I'll try to continue talking about these pages but that's possibly the most disgusting thing I've ever heard, and i ate out of a bin once, i know what I'm talking about.

And by the way, WHO THE FUCK CARRIES BREAD IN THEIR POCKET??!!

Sigh........anyway, moving on! Eventually Valjean finds a way out of the sewers but the way out is locked and even he's not strong enough to break the lock, it all looks hopeless until.........Mr Thenardier shows up in the sewers with a key to open the lock! (Oh my God LES FUCKING COINCIDENCE!!!!) But Thenardier is still a crafty bastard and he tells Valjean (who he doesn't actually recognise, possibly because he's covered in shit!) that he'll only let him out if he gives him half of whatever money is in Marius's pockets, Valjean agrees to this and Thenardier lets him go.

Oh but we're not done yet! Once he's out of the sewer who should he run into? JAVERT!
NO! I'm not gonna say "Les Coincidence" this time, this isn't a coincidence! Javert's a policeman, he was in the area at the time all this was happening, he knew Valjean was still around and he's still hell bent on capturing him, this actually makes some kind of sense!

So even though Javert has Valjean in his grasp he doesn't arrest him then and there (although to be fair why would you even want to touch him he's probably covered in shit!) he allows him to return Marius to his grandfather and then allows him to return home for a moment, (possibly so he can wash the shit off himself!) but after he takes Valjean home Javert then disappears.

Javert! why????? you had him!.......Ah fuck it i don't even care anymore! At least the book has gotten out of the shit at last though.