That's why i try to fill my life with little projects, like for instance reading a massive book like Les Miserables and then blogging about it, it stops me from thinking about things too much.
Why do i bring this up? Well i was thinking about something in Les Miserables, the relationship between Valjean and Cosette, specifically when Cosette was a child, i really love their relationship with each other, i think it's really sweet, yeah i know that when i wrote about it in pages 385-398 I said that i thought it was a bit creepy but honestly i was lieing, sometimes i cover things up with jokes to hide how i really feel.
I was trying to figure out why i like their relationship so much and i worked it out recently, (I'm about to get kind of deep and emotional here so if you don't like that kind of stuff you have my permission to stop reading)
I never had the best relationship with my dad when i was a kid, i still don't actually, in fact we don't even have any contact with each other anymore, he was pretty much uninterested in anything i did and i cant remember any times when i felt any kind of connection with him, i cant even remember any lengthy conversations i ever had with him either, so the whole good father figure is something i was really drawn to in the book.
But it actually goes deeper than that.........
I spent a lot of time alone when i was young, more than was healthy i think, not by choice either I'll add, both my parents were pretty lame actually, anyway recently i saw something online that made me remember something that happened to me when i was a kid, something not very nice, i wont go into it in any detail because it's not something i want to share with the world but one of my overwhelming memories of this particular incident is that i was cold and scared and alone, and i couldn't tell anyone what i was scared of, I've still never told anyone what happened and i probably never will.
So when i read in Les Miserables how Valjean rescued Cosette from a horrible life and loved her and made he feel good again and was a good father to her it sort of tapped into this feeling that i have about my own childhood experiences, basically it makes me think about stuff like: Why didn't i ever have someone rescue me? Why didn't anyone ever tell me that i didn't have to be scared? Why didn't i ever have an adult protect me when i was a little kid?
So i think that protectiveness that Valjean has with Cosette is the reason i love that particular aspect of the book so much, I don't think I've ever gotten over what happened to me.
I didn't really need to bring this up, i didn't really need to write this in my blog but you know what, i wanted to. Sometimes writing about stuff is good and like i said I've never really talked about my childhood in any length and this is my blog so i can do what i want!!!! Even though i joked about it and said that Valjean was creepy i actually thought that part of the book was really sweet, it was my favourite part of the whole book, i think it definitely tapped into something I'd forgotten about my childhood.
Oh by the way........UNICORNS!!!!
